A Letter of Love
by peytoncourt
Summary: Alex is dead and olivia is struggling to cope with it. its like a nightmare she cant wake up from. one night olivia gets a knock on the door from a mystery man with a letter. whos the letter from? whats it about? will it help her cope with what's happened to alex?


**A letter of love**

In Olivia's apartment Alex was stroking Liv's face and pushing her hair behind her ears. "I love you", Alex mumbled. "I will never leave you Olivia. I love being with you"

_Olivia hugged Alex tight and whispered in her ear._

" _Alex you always say the right things. I love you too, more then anything else in the world." She kissed her softly and hugged her tight once more. _

_Suddenly the scene changed and Liv found herself out on the street. She was standing with Alex and Elliot. Olivia and partner had been assigned the job of protecting Alex after she received death threats in court when she sent someone down for murder. Although Olivia obviously didn't see it as a job. Even if she hadn't been a detective she would have still protected Alex. _

_A piercing sounded then reverberated of the surrounded buildings. Olivia knew that sound well. Any cop would have known that sound. A gunshot. Alex fell to the floor and Olivia dropped to the ground not believing what had just happened. While they had been talking a blacked windowed car had driven past them and shot three times. Two shots had missed but one had hit Alex in her right shoulder. Elliot had quickly started to give chase to the car but stopped at the end of the street and grabbing his radio, he reported the incident. Olivia had her hands firmly pushed on the wound, which by now was pouring blood. The blood was flowing through Olivia's hands and was quickly covering the stone cold pavement. Tears were running down Olivia's face and landing on Alex's cheek. Alex's face was frozen in fear and she couldn't move even though she tried hard too._

" _NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" Olivia screamed over and over._

"_Alex, hunny stay with me. Don't close your eyes. Helps coming. Alex hold on. Remember what you told me in my apartment that first night we spent together?"_

_Alex baby, don't close your eyes. You told me you loved me and that you would never leave me. Alex I love you so don't you dare even think about leaving me. You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay" Olivia was crying fully by now and had to breathe hard to try and control herself for Alex's sake. _

" _Olivia, I'm sorry." Alex was talking slowly and barely above a whisper. _

" _Don't say sorry. You have nothing to say sorry for"_

_Alex managed to say I love you one last time before finally closing her eyes._

Olivia woke with sweat running down her face and was screaming Alex's name. She remembered the dream straight away. How could she not? She had had that dream for the past 3 months and no matter how hard Olivia willed herself in the dream she could never save Alex. 3 months ago when the real shooting happened Liv thought her life was over. Alex had died and it was all her fault. She was meant to have protected her and she didn't. Liv had been a detective for almost 11 years and she never once made a promise she couldn't keep. Until now. She had promised to protect Alex and to keep her safe. She had failed as a cop and she had failed as a girlfriend. The thought of this had nearly destroyed her. Alex had said she would never leave her but she had left her and Liv couldn't help but cry.

Suddenly Olivia heard a loud bang on the door she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and turned to look at the clock on the bedside to see that it was 3:32am. Who could be knocking the door at this time? Olivia quickly grabbed her gun and put it in her pocket just in case. Being a detective in New York for as long as Olivia had gave you a lot of enemies so Liv made sure she was always prepared for anything. Olivia hastily opened the door a jar to see who it was.

" Hello, I have been told to deliver this letter here to a Olivia Benson" the guy in the doorway said.

" Yeah that's me? Who's it from?" Liv now opened the door completely now.

" A women named Emily" the man replied with a sweet smile on his face.

" Im sorry but you must have the wrong person, I don't know anyone called Emily" Olivia quickly said after thinking about it.

The guy laughed aloud.

" What's so funny?" Olivia asked curiously. She put her hand in her pocket just to check the gun was there. She thought this guy was mad.

" Well the women who told me to give you this said that you would say that and that I should give it to you anyway" the guy reached out his hand and gave the letter to Olivia.

" Well thank you. But couldn't you have given it to me in the morning?" Olivia yawned.

" No. The women said I must give it to you now and make sure no one sees me with it or anything. Well I have to go goodbye"

Olivia shut the door then went to sit on the sofa to look at the letter. It was a light sandy coloured envelope and was clearly address to Olivia. Liv slowly turned over the envelope and started to slowly rip the side. She pulled the letter out and slowly opened it and began to read.

Dear LivOlivia stopped immediately and just sat there for a few moments. Olivia could count the number of people on her hands that called her Liv. It was only ever people close to her. This made her more anxious to know whom the letter was from and why it was so important that it had to be delivered now. She took a breath before beginning the letter once more."Dear Liv

_This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I needed to write to you and tell you everything. You deserve to know the truth. Firstly you can't tell anyone about this letter as I could be put in danger. My name is Emily but you know me better by another name. My real name. Alex. When I was shot everyone thought I was dead. Heck! I even thought I was dead. I can't remember much from that night but I can remember you never leaving my side and the blood. There was so much blood. When the bus arrived I really did think I was going to die. I was so cold and my body was completely numb. I was rushed straight into surgery when I reached the hospital and thankfully because of the amazing work from the doctors and nurses I survived. My boss then showed up and without warning they put me straight into a car with two security guys. I went straight into witness protection. I wasn't aloud to say goodbye to you, or friend, or even family. I left all my belonging behind and had to start a completely new life. I know you will be wondering why I have waited this long to tell you but I needed to wait to make sure it was safe before sending the letter. I tried sending letters and calling you when I first got here but I wasn't aloud to send them and they then took my phone to stop me calling you. I still love you Olivia and I never wanted any of this to happen they way it did. I will come back and see you as soon as I can but I have no idea when that will be. I really miss you and hope your okay. Don't write back as too risky and don't want to have to move from here again or put you in danger. I will always love you Liv and will find my way back to you soon I hope. _

_Love you always_

_Your Alex x"_

Olivia just sat there for a few moments. Tears running down her face, she was pale from the shock of the news. Liv didn't know what to do. What to say. How to help Alex. She really loved Alex more then she had loved anyone and didn't want to lose her. She already though she had once and to think that maybe she could get her back again made Olivia's heart skip a beat. There was only one thing she could do. She had never been good at it and the rest of her squad team knew it to. Detective Olivia Benson couldn't wait. She hated waiting. She lacked patients in these kind of situation and never waited for anything unless it was absolutely necessary. She knew though that she would have to learn and fast if she ever wanted to see Alex again. She stood up of the sofa and wiped the tears that were now beginning to stain her face. Olivia would wait as long as it took for Alex to come back to her their was no other opinion.

4 months past when there was a knock on the door. Olivia quickly stood up from the table where she had been going over some case notes and headed to the door. She thought it was Elliot giving her back her phone or something, which she frequently forgot about and left at work. Even though Elliot had a key. She knew he wouldn't use it unless it was important. When she finally opened the door her mouth dropped and she grabbed the unit to steady herself. She couldn't believe who was stood in her doorway. It was Alex.

" Hi Liv" Alex smiled

Liv just stared. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her feet could no longer hold her up and she collapsed to the floor. Alex bent down to make sure Liv was okay.

" Liv, don't worry I'm back, I'm okay everything is going to be okay now. It's safe for me to come back. I love you Olivia im so sorry"

It took Olivia a few minutes to register what Alex had said before she slowly stood up from the floor and grabbed Alex tightly, pulling her close to her and wrapping her arms around her. "I can't believe your back. I love you Alex. Don't ever leave me again.

" Don't worry Liv, im not going anywhere." She smiled and kissed Olivia softly.


End file.
